Saturday, August 23, 2008

still listening...

Last year, I "jumped in" to follow my passion for art and exploring my creativity. This year I am doing so much more intensely by becoming a full time student (and still keeping my "regular job"). This is what I was thinking then, and not too much has changed:

"Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Learning to Listen

So, some days (most days) I feel like I'm too old to not know what I want to be when I grow up. It's so easy to fall into a rhythm (rut?) of life; it's so easy to forget to live with a real, honest, purpose to keep chasing the dreams.

With that said I have finally decided to go back to school (and, I know you're saying, "but Bekki, didn't you get a degree from the University of Missouri?" Yes. But not in something I am very passionate about). I am starting slow, just with an art class. I have had both day and night dreams of pursuing art. I have been teetering on the edge of actually doing it for years. And, as I stated so triumphantly in a previous post I have finally jumped in.

I have found my Personal Legend, my Path. Or, rather my Path found me, I was just to afraid for so long that it wasn't the right one (and who's to say it is or isn't?). This Path has been following me around for years. The Universe knew this was the way I needed to go even when I did not. So, enough with the metaphors of water and byways, I have learned to listen and am following my intuition, my heart and soul. I have learned from paying attention to myself, my body, my habits, and my thoughts, that I need to be in some more creative field. Art (and travel) excite me. Creating something brand new that wasn't in the world a moment before amazes me. So, I learned to follow what not only holds my interest, but what excites me. When I'm not being creative or creating I'm wasting that energy biting my nails or tapping my feet. But, you know what? When I'm working on a project (or traveling) my fingernails tend to grow...my misplaced energy has the proper outlet.

All the wrong turns I have taken are a part of me. They have brought me here. And it is here that it hit me...I can divide my life into 3 very distinct aspects. 1. Creating art. 2. Travel. 3. Everything else. Perhaps it's those first 2 that keep me feeling alive, keep me curious, keep me feeling like a kid on Christmas (and, yes, that is a picture of me). Why can't I feel like that everyday?

So, while I have been trying to be a good little blogger and post every day, I think that things around here are about to get a little less, um "digital." Please be patient if I don't post every-single-day. Know that I am off discovering myself and the world, creating things and teaching people. At the end of most of those days I plan to share my experiences, but as we all know, plans change. These plans may never be lost, they may have only changed."